Aspergers Syndrome

Controlling everything is often a trait found in people with Aspergers Syndrome.

 One of the biggest areas this is seen is with social situations.  Playing with others isn’t always a pretty sight because often they have already figured out how the situation should play out and want to control everything to make sure it plays out that way. 

I don’t think it is out of selfishness or greed that they do this.  Having Aspergers and the social skills difficiencies associated with it causes them to have a lack of understanding of others wants and needs.  They may be completley unaware they are controlling a situation or even that they have upset someone else. 

Trying to stop or change the process before it has played out often results in tantrums, frustration, anger and crying.   They might actually fight you to finish something.  We have seen this with our daughter as she is trying to prove a point about something we already know.  She still “has” to finish her thought process wether we want to hear it or not.  If something is out of place it has to be fixed “now” because she will only focus on that until it is.  Playing games with others becomes a fight with her because something isn’t done to the letter of the law.  She will argue about subjects that can have several solutions but she has one picked out and that is how it is. 

Continue working with social stories and explaining social situations with Aspergers children to help them understand where they are being controlling.  Help them understand how others are feeling by asking how they would feel in those situations.  Often it is easier to just let them have their moment.  Just like with us when our daughter is dead set on finishing her thought wether we want to hear it or not.  We have learned to just let her finish.  We pick our battles and some just are not worth fighting because there will be other necessary battles.

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